Posts tagged karkat vantas
Posts tagged karkat vantas
Who has seen Shallow Hal? (Don’t see Shallow Hal.)
So in Human Shallow Hal, this jackass gets hypnotized to see the good-person scale in place of the media-defined-beauty scale and then there’s an hour of fat jokes.
May I posit that in Troll Shallow Hal, we follow the adventures of a casteist jerkass who gets mind-powered into seeing, ah, worthiness? usefulness to the Empire? instead of bloodhue (… then there’s an hour of lowblood jokes).
So troll jerkass gets involved with someone they see as near-royal, but who is rust-red or MAYBE A MUTANT EVEN, who is not used to being treated with such deference BUT THEY THINK THEY COULD GET USED TO IT BECAUSE THEY ARE A QUALITY (“QUALITY”) TROLL IS THE CONCEIT.
(The whole scene where low-caste crush reveals this terrible secret in awkward, naked trust - but the jerkass only views it as they are MORE royal than previously assumed - LOLOLOL - is especially poorly handled I bet)
And then in the end all the characters are killed for subversion of the hemospectrum, it is very appropriate and satisfying.
In conclusion: probably a Equius/Karkat romcom
(and George Costanza can be played by Equius’ even more jerkass friend Vriska)
(only in this version no one gets murdered because D: )
Let’s talk about whats really interesting instead:
you speak to my soul
someone should prompt it on the kink meme or something
I don’t care about the foursome for itself but
what i love about karkat<>kanaya is how they’re probably better as friends. but does that stop them from fantasizing about it. and tying themselves into knots over it. and being friends. and dropping everything to run through burning forests together because neither of them can fly. IT DOES NOT
This is all completely accurate I have been trying since yesterday to decide if we are the worst or the best at shipping.
YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
but really… all that fanart of her holding his head in her lap on couches while he cries… when really, kanaya reacts to a crying karkat by tying him up and leaving him in the trunk of rose’s car.
Never mind the image of Rose unpacking her groceries to excavate bag by bag a bound and silenced Karkat Vantas: Rose firming her lips into a narrow line and wordlessly closing the trunk again.
I bet this makes Rose and Kanaya getting pulled over by the police for speeding away from a bank robbery even more of an awkward situation for all involved.
Important: The content notes are grabbed from the first 5 lines of a post. This is a summary of the Homestuck kink meme. Assume “Author Chose Not To Warn” in all cases.
NEW PROMPTS: (4)
Kinda interesting prompt tonight:
Beforus AU, Older!Threshecutioner!Karkat+Meenah
PROMPT: Karkat Vantas is the Grand Threshecutioner to the Empress Feferi on Beforus and her descendant Meenah has the biggest crush on him! Up to you what Karkat thinks of all this.
(Finally, something she’s looking forward to inheriting.)
they fell asleep watching twilight.
(but I will do this one because it came in before I asked for non-anon prompts)
the sex scene went horribly glitched
when, behind Harley’s ears, Karkat scritched
he had wrongass conclusions
about horn-placed protrusions,
and her leg thrashed and violently twitched
Our Heroes commenced with loud flailings
and ranged arguments about failings
but she felt like a mook
mashing ice to his nook
thus, I fear, was the end of ‘night’s pailings
i like the idea of trolls displaying aggression and submission the exact opposite of the way humans do. if their head is bowed, they’re being threatening because the horns are angled toward you. if their heads are raised, it’s because they’re showing their necks and indicating submission. if they’re glaring at you like the karkat in the bottom left then you’re really in trouble because he is 100% done with your shit john.
credit goes to asuka for coming up with this in how she portrays kk in battlefield terra
:DDDDD haha i was about to say THATS HOW I DO IT haha welp.
more fic where John shows his friends bad movies that aren’t Con Air
he shows Mac and Me to Karkat because it the quintessential bad movie about alien best buddies, Karkat legit gets emotional
he gets Dave to watch Birdemic so Dave can gawk in amazement at the achievement in GIF shittiness the special effects are
he watches The Room with Rose so she can try to piece together what everyone’s fucking deal is in that movie is and marvel at the psychological enigma that is Tommy Wiseau
he shows Space Jam to Jade because the Looney Tunes are kind of like furries, he guesses