odditycollector

4 notes

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I’m not sure this is *truly* quadrant gen, but “w/e” is my current feelings there.

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"You have reached the voicemail of Kanaya Maryam. Please—"

"Shit!" says Sollux. "She’s not answering. Now what are we supposed to do?!"

"Sollux, stop being so dramatic," says Aradia. "We don’t need Kanaya to figure this out. It’s just the opposite of a corpse party, right?

"I guess so, maybe. Humans pick weird things to have parties about."

"I know!" says Aradia. "It is the best thing about them. Look, just search ‘baby party’ on their worldnet and see what comes up."

Sollux does that:

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"Uh…" he says.

Aradia pulls the phone from his hand. “Jegus.”

"If a wiggler was about to crawl teeth first out of my nook, this is the last thing I’d want to be reminded of," Sollux says.

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Filed under aradia medigo sollux captor ihasafandom ramble body horror maybe? cannibalism jokes this is a homestuck response what do you expect from me the pic is cropped from the referenced image search result but not *not* real

7 notes

Anonymous asked: Jade Harley and Kanaya Maryam? If you want to write them having a shower together I mean.

Once more with the RIGHT ASK this time:

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"Here!" Jade cries, pointing at a midsized waterfall hanging like a pleated curtain over the surface of a cliff. She jumps across the gap towards the falling stream.

Resignedly, Kanaya pulls her plastic poncho tighter around her face and leaps after. The waterfall buffets her, flooding over her face and winding under the plastic. Cold water slips down her neck.

She alights beside Jade on a narrow cliff ledge. Grime squelches under her shoes, but at least it’s dry there, except for the splashing roar of the fall. Every other noise is muffled; the hollow makes a very small, very private cave.

Jade pokes sadly at the cliff face. “No,” she says. “Not this one either.”

"Hmm," says Kanaya. "But you’re still certain one of these waterfalls is hiding a secret passage."

"Yeah!" says Jade. "How many computer games have you played? There’s always a shortcut behind a waterfall."

"I’ve played *one*," Kanaya mutters. She hasn’t *stopped* playing it. And trying to take shortcuts has never served her team well.

Jade raises her hand and, a flash of green later, they’re back on the rock arch bridge. “Remind me. Is there a reason you can’t use your magic god powers to deposit us behind the vertical water sheets.”

Jade shakes her head violently to remove excess water… which splatters, largely, onto Kanaya. “What fun would *that* be?”

Filed under ramble jade harley kanaya maryam Anonymous

25 notes

Anonymous asked: Gil and Tarvek, shower meme

Queen Albia may have her eyes in the skies over England — literal eyes, flappy winged laser-gun seeing orbs — but no one can control the sea! The sea is filled with unspeakable horrors that even the most gifted of sparks have never survived studying closely.

Such creatures make it impossible for House Wulfenbach to maintain surveillance under the English Channel, but Queen Albia must fare no better. Thus. She could not expect them to advance from the water, and that will only be her FIRST error.

Gil has engineered a rescue plan so perfect it is a clockwork engine laid out in front of him. Every event over the next two days will be predefined by cogwheels moving together in quartz precision, and HE is the one holding the wrench! And also the kit of more metaphorically appropriate clockmaking tools.

Her Undying Majesty thinks she has secured her hostages, but he will SHOW HER. He will SHOW THEM ALL!

"Aha!" Gil says, as a sharktopus skitters out of the way of their view screen. "AhahahaHAHAHAHAHA!"

His hands grip the submersible’s controls, and his face reflected in the screen is shining with excitement. A beat in his shoulder pulses in time with the engine’s thrumming. “HA!” Gil says, and the beat in his shoulder grows harder.

It slaps him in the face.

Having his focus shaken is always a disorientation, but his childhood has trained him to recover quickly. Still, Gil shouts “What is it?!” at Tavrek as the world rushes out from tunnel vision.

Tarvek points up. Water drips from the submersible’s ceiling. Gil’s face isn’t shining, it’s wet.

"I just wanted to mention what a fantastic job you did on the seals," Tarvek says.

"I didn’t do the seals," says Gil. "I did the engines. You worked on the seals."

"No," says Tarvek. "I built the death rays. *You* finished the seals."

They stare at each other, waiting for the observed facts to resolve themselves into a usable hypothesis re. the state of the world. The flow of water increases, flattening hair to head and making one of the gurgling boxes in the corner start crying.

In the viewscreen, the sharktopus has returned — although it has apparently doubled in size and grown an extra mouth with extra large teeth.

"Uh," Gil says.

"Oh," Tarvek agrees.

Gil snatches the voicepipe to the engine room. “Back!” he shouts into the tube. “We’re turning back home, right now!”

Filed under ramble girl genius Anonymous

3 notes

this tree without a heart - odditycollector - Homestuck [Archive of Our Own]

I put the Rose/Sollux/Feferi harlequin trope fic on AO3!

It has a title now and stuff. (If you’re not going to read the ao3 fic because you saw it already: I took the title from this poem and it is super fitting.)

I don’t think I’ll put the other harlequin trope answers up, but this one had less handwaving in than most. Please note the warnings on ao3 if you do read it.

(I did not tag it “Magic Healing Sex” in the end, but it was a really close thing.)

Filed under rose lalonde feferi peixes sollux captor tatterdemalionamberite since you asked horrorterrors helmsman kink

8 notes

cosmictuesdays asked: Kira and Sisko, please.

Kira crosses her arms over her chest and scowls. “You’re the Emmisary to the Prophets,” she says. “I can’t believe they said you’re not *pure* enough.”

"We didn’t come here to meet with the Bajoran Prophets," Sisko says, not annoyed at all. His face is tilted into the deluge, and his mouth is a slight smile. *Starfleet.* He must be feeling smug with himself, the great Commander playing along with these quaint alien rituals.

Kira collects a handful of the water falling from the ceiling. She sniffs it suspiciously: a light and tangy sweetness, the extract of a native fruit or a flower. She scrubs it through her hair. “There,” she announces, to Sisko and whoever else is listening. “I’m Cleansed. Keeping us in here for an hour is a waste of everyone’s time.”

"Major." Sisko tilts his head down to consider her. "When was the last time you had a shower?"

"I—" Kira starts, offended, but Sisko holds up a hand.

"A real shower, Major. Not a sonic scrubber or a holodeck program. A shower with clean, hot water that you can stand under for as long as you want. It couldn’t have been while you were on the station."

By the time she’s thought of an answer, Sisko has turned his face back to the ceiling. “The Aleopi never let visitors inside without completing the full Purification. My suggestion is to enjoy yourself.”

Filed under Kira Nerys Benjamin Sisko ramble aliens make them take a shower cosmictuesdays ds9

2 notes

Anonymous asked: what classpects do you think would fit the Batkids? If you have any opinions on them I mean.

Sorry Anon, but I have never thought about this and I don’t foresee ever thinking about this unless, idk, I decide to do a really complicated crossover thing, and I don’t foresee doing that either.

There was the one time I assigned Cass to Prospit and Babs to Derse, but even that was less “and I will fight you” than “and that way the fic will do what I need it to.”

Filed under the only out of narrative context homestuck sorting i care about is Troy Barnes' Anonymous

12 notes

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   How I feel about this character:

I am super fond.

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^— Me contemplating John Egbert


    All the people I ship romantically with this character:

THE MORE YOU KNOW: One of my very first efforts in Homestuck fandom, after “John Egbert Kills Everyone: the Comedy Routine”, was “John Egbert Fucks Everyone: the Poetry Collection”

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Filed under aibari john egbert rose lalonde karkat vantas

81 notes

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And here is the Amanda post:

    How I feel about this character:

FuckYeahAmandaWaller.tumblr.com <— my first tumblr, offered as a hint on my position.

I have a fierce, unwavering loyalty for Amanda Waller (which ftr is not the same thing as believing she is usually correct).

This is what I tell people who disagree with me:

Amanda Waller is Reverse Batman, okay, stripped entirely of the rich dude noblesse oblige. She starts out stashed away out of mind in the Chicago Cabrini-Green projects. And there she loses half her family - two kids and her husband - and goes from “poor” to “homeless with young children”.

And she climbed out of *that* hole with her fingernails and teeth, and got her babies enough of a headstart to be adults on their own terms, and went like: No.

This shit is unacceptable. The world is going to be a better place, or else.

Ah, but the villains in this world are a banal, cowardly lot. She must be able to strike terror into their hearts. She must become a creature of the shadows, black, terrible…

The thing which has screwed over her and hers.

She must become.

The System.

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Filed under teland amanda waller vril dox ii barbara gordon ben turner post 2 of 2 comics